i just flipped a page of my calendar. funny how time seems to fly past so fast, but i'm hardly progressing or moving in any area. and funny how days seem to be so routine, its like i'm stagnant but the world is whizzing past me.
oh well, i wonder who comes here anymore. ha, did anyone come here in the first place? make it my own little sanctuary. everyday seems different. one day i can be way on top, heads up, feeling all good and keeping my work in check. the next i can be way below, tattered by all the things around me, feeling like a total loser with a negative 1000 self-esteem (or more), feeling like i don't even deserve to be here. moodswings, maybe?
i don't really care about what others think about me anymore. i mean, yeah i still do bother that people look at me weirdly, but i guess i like to do things when i like to do them. and that's what matters right? sigh. only if this really applies in the real world. out there, no one waits for you.
but i guess i'm glad for people around me. my family, for one, has been really supportive. thanks mum for always putting up with me. chilling me when i forget to take my file/shoebag/long socks and going all the way back for me.
i feel like i'm losing the heart to do anything and everything. i need time, to do things at my pace. but time is not at hand, no, unfortunately it's not. i dont want to lag behind and i dont want to slip but i feel that i will, i will before i reach november. and i don't want that to happen i want to finish i want to emerge victorious. but will i?
okay what's the use of saying all these crap. need to get my ass down to studying. or trying to do so.
|4:36 PM|